I know. It's writing. And it's haaaaaaaard to put up with all those words, so I wouldn't blame you for skipping over it. However, in my defense, I actually have a long history with writing, dating back to middle school when I attended a fancy-ass arts program for gifted kids (we had to test to get in). Creative writing was always a huge pleasure for me, but I was never satisfied with creative writing classes offered to me by schools, so I never pursued writing academically.

So here are some words. Writing this made me feel like a middle schooler again, and I wouldn't be heartbroken if no one read it (though I think it's good).

I put an obscenity warning on this because of a couple naughty words. Don't show this to your kids unless you're a really cool parent.